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The Bill

S5 E76 ∙ That Old Malarkey ∙ 30 min

When he tries to deal with a mentally ill woman, Tony finds himself in a house fire.

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Series Selector for The Bill

All episodes for series 5 of The Bill

S5 E1 · Getting it Right
Burnside is given the wrong information by Ramsey before an early morning raid.
S5 E2 · A Reflection of Glory
Ramsey and Haynes speak to a shoplifter who claims she is innocent.
S5 E3 · One to One
A councillor's drug-addicted daughter causes trouble for Ackland and Stamp.
S5 E4 · The Mugging and the Gypsies
Edwards, Yorkie and Ackland try to enforce a child protection order on a Gypsy family.
S5 E5 · The Chain of Command
Yorkie attends to a woman who enters the station with a head wound.
S5 E6 · Life and Death
After being brought into the station, a drunk tells Peters that he has killed someone.
S5 E7 · Hot Head
Martella brings in two girls who were chatting up lorry drivers to hitch a lift.
S5 E8 · Steamers
Reports of a strange smell lead to Melvin discovering a body in a flat.
S5 E9 · Duty Elsewhere
Haynes investigates a gang who are responsible for a murder and drug dealing.
S5 E10 · Saturday Blues
Burnside's goddaughter lies in intensive care following a drug overdose.
S5 E11 · N.F.A.
Ramsey is determined to teach some schoolchildren a lesson.
S5 E12 · The Price You Pay
Martella tries to prevent a father taking revenge on his daughter's violent boyfriend.
S5 E13 · The Key of the Door
Cryer discovers a young boy has been abusing his mother.
S5 E14 · Cock-Up
Cryer's son could be the key to arresting two local drug dealers.
S5 E15 · Repercussions
The results of the drug raid lead to unrest in the community.
S5 E16 · A Death in the Family
June and Taffy are called in off the street to the death of a baby.
S5 E17 · In the Frame
Burnside gets caught in a trap for corruption and Cryer witnesses a car bombing.
S5 E18 · A Good Result
Yorkie goes undercover with a gang of football hooligans.
S5 E19 · Conscience
Roach has an unsuccessful date with a married woman but instead bumps into his old boss.
S5 E20 · Sunday Sunday
A fight at the market causes problems for the officers at Sun Hill.
S5 E21 · Climate
Roach tries to clear up a case of young girls being attacked.
S5 E22 · Bad Company
PC Melvin is called to an abandoned factory with dire consequences.
S5 E23 · Suspicious Minds
Sun hill officers join with the area vice squad to break a pornography ring.
S5 E24 · Intuition
Roach puts his all into his current case of a gold bullion robbery.
S5 E25 · Loss
Martella and Yorkie are in charge of "tidying up" unsolved missing persons cases.
S5 E26 · Procedure
Sun Hill gets a visit from the fraud squad.
S5 E27 · Luck of the Draw
Roach goes undercover in order to find out more about a lottery scam.
S5 E28 · No Strings
Yorkie and Ramsey arrest an armed robber responsible for several post office hold ups.
S5 E29 · Fool's Gold
CID bring in a suspect who is implicated in several Post Office robberies.
S5 E30 · The Visit
Martella is visiting a remand prisoner and ends up being held hostage.
S5 E31 · One For the Ladies
The death of a bigamist leads Tosh to a confusing and difficult conclusion.
S5 E32 · No Shelter
An Italian lorry driver causes chaos at Sun Hill.
S5 E33 · Out to Lunch
A night out leaves Burnside, Carver, and Ramsey in the middle of an Italian turf war.
S5 E34 · Free Wheel
CID are keeping an eye on a man who is suspected of the illegal shipment of arms.
S5 E35 · Only a Bit of Thieving
DS Roach is accused of attempted murder.
S5 E36 · Communications
Edwards and W.P.C. Brind visit the parents of a missing girl.
S5 E37 · Silver Lining
After driving a Rolls Royce back to the yard, Haynes finds something valuable in the boot.
S5 E38 · Suffocation Job
WPC Ackland visits a woman with agoraphobia.
S5 E39 · Mickey Would Have Wanted It
Burnside must find evidence to catch the father of one of his old school friends.
S5 E40 · Blood Ties
Brind and Stamp delve into the heart of a serious domestic.
S5 E41 · You'll Be Back
P.C. Ramsey and W.P.C. Brind investigate a shoplifting.
S5 E42 · Fort Apache-Sunhill
An industrial dispute by prison officers puts pressure on Sun Hill's holding cells.
S5 E43 · Waste
The body of a homeless woman is found on a building site.
S5 E44 · The Strong Survive
Carver and Dashwood have a chemist shop under observation.
S5 E45 · Loving Care
Carver investigates a burglary and finds an unconscious girl at the scene.
S5 E46 · Back on the Streets
Lines and Carver fail to capture a wanted man.
S5 E47 · Fat'ac
PC Smith attends a fatal road traffic accident and makes some poor decisions.
S5 E48 · Somewhere By Chance
An ex-soldier attempts to blow up a shopping complex.
S5 E49 · A Quiet Life
Carver attends the hospital to speak to the wife of a robbery victim.
S5 E50 · Tom Tiddler's Ground
Carver finds himself investigating a villain that Sun Hill has wanted to nail for years.
S5 E51 · Make My Day
Hollis is back on the beat. Burnside's informant provides him information.
S5 E52 · Provocation
Dashwood investigates a number of robberies made on building sites.
S5 E53 · Overspend
Brownlow's new way of saving money leaves CID without transport.
S5 E54 · Between Friends
Brownlow is invited to join a golf club but is furious as his clubs have gone missing.
S5 E55 · Traffic
A young girl is hit by a drunk driver, while Cryer takes the new officer Turnham for a walk on the beat.
S5 E56 · The Sacred Seal
Carver struggles to get the truth when a feud between a priest and a convict turns nasty.
S5 E57 · Subsequent Visits
When CID ignores a car theft, Tony takes matters into his own hands to try to catch the thieves.
S5 E58 · User Friendly
An aircraft from Belgium has come down in a park, and the pilot and passengers have fled.
S5 E59 · Don't Like Monday's
Edwards and Ramsey find themselves held at gunpoint with DC Lines' wife and children.
S5 E60 · Pick Up
PC Haynes struggles to cope after the shooting of Ramsey.
S5 E61 · Kidding
Martella is determined to help a woman leave her violent husband.
S5 E62 · Black Spot
Tosh is determined to nick local villain Davy Box.
S5 E63 · Taken For a Ride
Roach becomes eligible for a promotion.
S5 E64 · Time Out
Burnside's feud with a detective from the robbery squad spirals out of control.
S5 E65 · Leaving
Yorkie's last day at Sun Hill leads him to a gang of shoplifters.
S5 E66 · Street Games and Board Games
A family of four find themselves all linked to Roach.
S5 E67 · Pressure
A car accident results in accusations and revenge at Sun Hill.
S5 E68 · A Little Knowledge
DC Lines and PC Garfield both go undercover.
S5 E69 · Pathways
Sgt Peters and WPC Brind deal with some trying going's-on at an allotment garden.
S5 E70 · Seen to be Done
An unfortunate discovery brings some officers under scrutiny.
S5 E71 · Tulip
While transporting a man for booking, two officers respond to another emergency incident.
S5 E72 · Nothing But the Truth
DC Jim Carver suffers under DI Burnside's so-called 'supervision'.
S5 E73 · It's Not Majorca
Mayhem ensues when Sun Hill's custody area deals with all of Barton Street's prisoners.
S5 E74 · Mending Fences
Sun Hill struggle to nail a gang of thugs.
S5 E75 · Exit Lines
PC Garfield assists an elderly lady that lives alone.
S5 E76 · That Old Malarkey
When he tries to deal with a mentally ill woman, Tony finds himself in a house fire.
S5 E77 · Greig Versus Taylor
Greig interrogates a man suspected of armed robbery.
S5 E78 · Tottering
Able and Melvin discover a stray horse and cart while on patrol.
S5 E79 · I Count Them All Out
Burnside helps out the flying squad after he receives information regarding armed robbers.
S5 E80 · Zigzag
Tosh and Dashwood are on the look out for a missing private detective.
S5 E81 · A Matter of Trust
Burnside receives false information in regard to a planned armed robbery.
S5 E82 · The Tourist Trap
Dashwood and Ackland go undercover to investigate a tour guide.
S5 E83 · The One That Got Away
Brownlow engages in a pursuit of a stolen vehicle.
S5 E84 · Found Offending
PC Stamp tries to help a young girl being abused by her father.
S5 E85 · All Part of the Job
WPC Brind attends a disturbance at a local pub. Special Branch arrives at Sun Hill.
S5 E86 · In the Cold
When a body is found at a railway yard, Burnside is convinced a guard is the murderer.
S5 E87 · Just a Little Runaround
Frazer starts her police riot training and is reunited with some old friends.
S5 E88 · A Fair Appraisal
PC Edwards awaits the results of his appraisal. CID investigate a local drug dealer.
S5 E89 · Visitors
The Sun Hill open day is ruined when a trophy is stolen from the station.
S5 E90 · Private Wars
Burnside witnesses a break in at an electricity substation.
S5 E91 · Feasting With Panthers
Dashwood investigates a theft and burglary incident. Sgt Penny has a run-in with Stamp.
S5 E92 · By the Book
A registered drug addict causes a disturbance at a pharmacy.
S5 E93 · Beer and Bicycles
PC Edwards undergoes counselling. PC Stamp is unhappy he has to patrol with a police dog.
S5 E94 · Grace of God
A man at a car yard complains about youngsters damaging cars and stealing car radios.
S5 E95 · Just Another Day
PCs Melvin and Turnham attend to a noise complaint concerning a saxophone player.
S5 E96 · Gone Fishing
Roach and Carver have different opinions concerning a recent hit-and-run car accident.
S5 E97 · Early Bird
Lines and Carver arrest a safe-breaker. Edwards and Brind come across an elderly lady.
S5 E98 · Just For the Crack
A large amount of motorcycles have been stolen, including a police bike.
S5 E99 · Woman in Brown
Ackland responds to the kidnapping of a baby. Lines and Carver investigate stolen cars.
S5 E100 · Speaking Freely
Inspector Frazer is up for her annual appraisal.
S5 E101 · The Return of the Prodigal Son
A man on the run unexpectedly hands himself in. Hollis and Ford attend to an explosion.
S5 E102 · Chinese Whispers
PC Quinnan arrives at Sun Hill and tries to impress all the female officers.
S5 E103 · Powers of Exclusion
Garfield and Turnham arrest a minister whom Burnside has been after for some time.
S5 E104 · Saturday Night Fever
It's a busy night in Sun Hill with a drug dealer murdered and a full custody room.
S5 E105 · By the Skin of Our Teeth
PC Able is sent to a pub to deal with a man on valium.
S5 E106 · Officers & Gentlemen
PC Turnham is called to deal with a shoplifter at a music shop.
S5 E107 · Carry Your Bags, Sir?
A German police officer is escorted around London looking for stolen car engines.
S5 E108 · I Thought You'd Gone
Insp Frazer & PC Edwards discover that there is life after Sun Hill.
S5 E109 · C.A.D.
WPC Martella is sent to assist at an armed robbery, but hits a radio black spot.
S5 E110 · A Day Lost
A 9 year-old boy is reported missing - causing the relief to conduct a full-scale search.
S5 E111 · A Clean Division
DC Carver is arrested after failing a breath test.
S5 E112 · Roger and Out
Sgt Penny isn't happy when he discovers that DC Lines has taken in a lodger.
S5 E113 · Addresses
WPC Martella and Sgt Cryer are out together on night patrol.
S5 E114 · Michael Runs the Family Now
A video shop robbery leads Burnside to the son of a villain he arrested twenty years ago.
S5 E115 · Against the Odds
A tip-off about a potential gang war puts Dashwood in a dilemma.
S5 E116 · Bloodsucker
A domestic incident alerts Lines and Roach to the tactics of loan shark Harry Soames.
S5 E117 · Workers in Uniform
A street festival that was to be cancelled is now to be held as planned.
S5 E118 · Something to Hide
Turnham and Datta are called to a break-in but there are no signs of forced entry.
S5 E119 · The Old Men's Run
Quinnan and Stamp attend a road collision that was anything but accidental.
S5 E120 · Legacies
An elderly lady has her valuables stolen from a hidden location.
S5 E121 · Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow
DI Burnside brings in a van of partygoers involved with drugs.
S5 E122 · Something Special
DI Burnside has an important visitor looking for an officer to join a special operation.
S5 E123 · Enemies
Race relations are in the spotlight as an Asian gang intimidates traders.
S5 E124 · Safe Place
WPC Martella goes undercover when Roach struggles for a lead after a bank robbery.
S5 E125 · Burnside Knew My Father
A youth arrives at the station to request DI Burnside's help.
S5 E126 · Watching
Garfield and Quinnan investigate a puzzling presence at a school.
S5 E127 · University Challenge
Joey Buchan is supposedly a reformed villain - but is suspected of being involved in raid.
S5 E128 · Growing Pains
When Carver is badly beaten, Burnside and Roach race to find the attacker.
S5 E129 · One of the Boys
WPC Martella has just joined CID and is sent to bring a prostitute in for questioning.
S5 E130 · Beggars and Choosers
The amount of beggars and homeless are increasing on the streets of Sun Hill.
S5 E131 · Citadel
Turnham is being vetted by MI11 after applying for a transfer to Special Branch.
S5 E132 · Blue Eyed Boy
Melvin is late for duty and things get worse for him as the day progresses.
S5 E133 · Full House
Refurbishments begin on the Sun Hill station and it's causing problems for all concerned.
S5 E134 · Big Fish, Little Fish
CID and Uniform conduct surveillance on possible drug couriers.
S5 E135 · Information Received
DS Roach is in court against Mickey Owen, a protection racketeer.
S5 E136 · Close Co-operation
Tensions run high as Sun Hill's cells are being refurbished.
S5 E137 · Middleman
CID set up 'Operation Middleman' to crack down on the drug trade.
S5 E138 · Corkscrew
Following the failure of an operation it's suspected that information has been leaked.
S5 E139 · Obsessions
CID are instructed to assist with a dispute. Ackland and Stamp attend to a barking dog.
S5 E140 · Small Hours
The relief are experiencing a typically dull nightshift - however, things soon change.
S5 E141 · Victims
DC Lines investigates the assault of a primary school teacher.
S5 E142 · Somebody's Husband
CID conduct a surveillance operation to catch the man responsible for attacking women.
S5 E143 · Canley Fields
The relief conduct a search after a child is reported abducted.
S5 E144 · The Night Watch
Roach and Martella respond to a report of sexual assault.
S5 E145 · Trojan Horse
Routine duty proves to be fatal for PC Ken Melvin.
S5 E146 · Rites
The relief are given a day's leave for PC Melvin's funeral. PC Stamp struggles to cope.
S5 E147 · Answers
Lines and Dashwood re-investigate attacks on women that occurred 2 years prior.
S5 E148 · A Fresh Start
Sun Hill mark the opening of their refurbished station.
S5 E149 · A Case to Answer
Martella assists a victim of rape, while Wray decides things need to be changed in CID.
S5 E150 · Line Up
PC Stamp arrests a man but there are issues surrounding the identification of the suspect.

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